Monday, March 26, 2007

Preparing Me for the Unpredictability Ahead

Anyone who has read my previous posts, knows that I have been so impatient to get our adoption process going again. We have been waiting for a long time for Pat's birth certificates to come and haven't been able to turn in our dossier because we are waiting for these documents. We can't have a referral until all of our paperwork is turned in, and I've been so frustrated with this delay. Today, I got a little clue as to why God might be delaying the coming of those documents. He's teaching me that there is a bumpy road ahead when we start dealing with the Liberian side of our adoption process, and I've got to be OK with the unpredictability ahead.

Today, Donna, from Acres of Hope, sent out a great email explaining all of the behind the scenes work and unexpected problems that the staff has to respond to in Liberia while we are waiting for our adoptions to be complete. It was humbling to read about all that goes on there, and all that the staff deals with on a daily basis. I'm amazed they are able to get anything done with the conditions they work in. After reading her email, I was reminded that I need to sit back, relax, and trust in God's Sovereignty over our situation. Liberia does not have a "well oiled machine" adoption process. It is a third world country, and I have to be OK with knowing that it will be impossible to predict when our son will be home. The wait that we've had waiting for the birth certificates is probably just the beginning and it has been teaching me so much.

Donna asked everyone some great questions today in her email:

"Maybe we should be asking ourselves, 'Am I in God's waiting room for a reason? There is a lot to be learned there. Are we above learning what he has to teach about patience, his timing, attitudes, compassion, and etc...? Is there reason beyond my understanding or control?' "

So whenever anyone asks from now on, "When will your adoption be complete?" I'll just shrug my shoulders and smile and say, "God knows."

I was telling a friend of mine, in an email, that I always struggle with impending change. Even if I'm really happy with the way things are right now, just knowing that change is coming kills me. I just want to hurry up and get there so I can know, good or bad, what it is going to be like.

Throughout these last two years, as I've felt like my life was falling apart, I've experienced God talking to my heart in a way I had never before experienced. His message has been "TRUST ME." Over and over again, He's said this to me. I was thinking about how the words "trust me" can be used manipulatively, like a teenage boyfriend telling his girlfriend, "Don't you trust me, baby?" But when God says, "Trust me." He isn't manipulative, He truly is TRUSTWORTHY. And once again, He's telling me, "Trust Me, Becky."

"Trust Me that the birth certificates will come at just the right time."

"Trust Me that I started this process in Your heart, and I won't abandon You in it."

"Trust Me to prepare You for what's ahead."

"Trust Me to match You with just the right child."

"Trust Me to time things perfectly, for everyone involved."

"Trust Me as I stretch you and refine you so you can be the woman, wife, and mother that you long to be."

"Trust Me that I am intimately involved in your life and in every detail of this adoption."

So I guess I'm stuck in God's waiting room for awhile, but I know it will be good for me. : )


Jocelyn said...

Girl I know how you feel...I have no patience, and I think God is teaching me this while I do the adoption. Hang in's all in God's time.

You will look back at all this waiting, and it will feel like a distant memory

Owlhaven said...

Hi Becky, The waiting is tough, isn't it? I am ashamed to admit that I am already impatient to have that homestudy in my hands and we just started two weeks ago....

Thanks for this post!