I just wanted to report that I am feeling so much more at peace since my last post. I think I was just able to give it all up and stop wasting energy and time worrying.
This is an excerpt from my prayer journal from this morning's entry:
"I lift our adoption. Sometimes, it is so scary and tiresome. I truly feel like we’ve been on an almost 9 month roller-coaster ride. I just give it all up. I give it to You. I can’t predict what is ahead, so I am done worrying. Benjamin will get here when he gets here. I will trust in You. I hope it is soon. I am still hoping for October. If You have different plans, prepare me for the wait or equip us for him to come home sooner. I trust You for perfect timing. Thank You for giving me peace to do this. Prevent Satan from interfering in this at all. Do not allow him to interfere with Acres of Hope’s ability to minister to the children of Liberia any more. Bind him. Prevent him from doing it. Give Acres of Hope victory over this visa thing. You are bigger and more powerful than he is or over any government interference or power. I am excited to see what You do."
I really feel like the reason I have been on an emotional roller-coaster ride is because of my lack of faith and trust. I've put myself on that roller-coaster, and I have the freedom to step off of it. My peace and rest in this will be proportionate to my ability to trust God.
Our adoption is moving forward smoothly, especially for an international adoption process. I just need to let go of my own expectations, timing, and fears.
Besides, I just read good news. Patty Anglin, the director of Acres of Hope had a very positive meeting with the consular at the US Embassy. It sounds like some good things are going to be put into place to protect children and the consular seemed impressed with the good work that AOH is doing. It also seems that she isn't the "bad guy" I was believing her to be.
Praise God! He is trustworthy.