An atheist was walking through the woods one day, admiring all that had evolved. "What majestic trees! What a powerful river! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. Turning to look, he saw a 13-foot brown bear beginning to charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could down the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw the bear rapidly closing in on him. Somehow, he ran even faster. He was so scared tears came to his eyes. He looked again and the bear was even closer. His heart pounding in his chest, he tried to run faster yet. But alas, he tripped and fell to the ground. As he rolled over to pick himself up, the bear was right over him, reaching for him with it's left paw and raising its right paw to strike him....he yelled out, "OH MY GOD!"
Time stopped.......
The bear froze.......
The forest was silent............
Even the river stopped moving. As a brilliant light shone upon the man, a thunderous voice came from all around:
"YOU HAVE DENIED MY EXISTENCE FOR ALL THESE YEARS, TAUGHT OTHERS THAT I DON'T EXIST, AND EVEN CREDIT CREATION TO SOME COSMIC ACCIDENT. DO YOU EXPECT ME TO HELP YOU OUT OF THIS PREDICAMENT? AM I TO COUNT YOU NOW AS A BELIEVER?"
Difficult as it was, the atheist looked directly into the light and said, "It would be hypocritical to ask to be a Christian after all these years, but perhaps you could make the bear a Christian?"
"VERY WELL," said GOD.
The light went out...
The river ran...
The sounds of the forest resumed..
And the bear dropped down on his knees, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke:
"Lord, thank you for this food which I am about to receive, Amen."
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4 comments:
That's hilarious!! Loved it. Thank you.
I think the joke would have been even funnier if you'd included a description of the atheist being eaten alive by the bear (you know, the horrible but well deserved agony and terror -- that sort of stuff).
Plus it would help those of us who don't yet fully appreciate what the word "loving" means when applied to God.
So many Christians..... so few Lions.
I find it interesting that the deity is assumed to be the Christian deity.
Perhaps the deity in question was actually Zeus, punishing the man for thinking that all Christians are kind and loving people.
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