Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Can I Just Stop Thinking About It?

My friend Angela and I were visiting the other day and commiserating about the adoption process. Their family is in the process of adopting from Vietnam, and she was frustrated because they were waiting for their dossier to be sent to Vietnam from the Vietnamese embassy. They thought it would take about 12 days for this to happen, but 5 weeks later, they were still waiting.

I asked her if she could imagine doing this again for a second adoption. She just laughed and said, "No way!" I think adoptive parents must experience amnesia after their child is home, just like after childbirth, that makes them willing to ride this roller coaster a second or third or more times. I'm just so weary of this ride.

That night at dinner I told this story to Pat. He said, "You just need to stop thinking about it so much." He explained how he realizes there is nothing he can do to speed up the process, so he has just put our adoption out of his mind until I call him one day and tell him we have a referral. He encouraged me to stop "worrying so much."

I don't know if I can just stop thinking about it. Is this possible? How? Is it the mom in me? I guess I just feel like it is never really going to happen. I told Pat that I'll just be blogging about it forever with no end to the story.

While I was cooking dinner tonight, I was in a nostalgic mood, so I was listening to old praise music by Maranatha singers. I got preached a sermon, let me tell you!

One song said this:

He is able, more than able, to accomplish what concerns me today.
He is able, more than able, to handle anything that comes my way
He is able, more than able, to do much more than I can ever dream
He is able, more than able, to make me what he wants me to be
He is able, more than able, to do much more than I could ever dream
He is able, more than able, to make me what he wants me to be

Another one said this:

In His time
He makes all thing beautiful
In His time.

Lord, my life to You I bring,
May each song I have to sing,
Be to You a lovely thing,
In Your time.

Lord, my life to You I bring,
May each song I have to sing,
Be to You a lovely thing,
In Your time.
In Your time, in Your time,
You make all thing beautiful in Your time.
Lord, my life to You I bring,
May each song I have to sing,
Be to You a lovely thing,
In Your time"

God's timing.......not Becky's

For other Mitford fans (Jan Karon novels).....you'll understand when I say I need to learn from Father Tim. I need to pray the prayer that never fails....

Thy will be done.

4 comments:

Denise Nelson said...

It is hard to wait. We haven't been in your shoes, like with Ben, but are also in the waiting for referral stage. So it looks like another 12-18 months. It is discouraging. I have cried hormonal tears today, my back has been out since Thursday, our marriage is under attack, we are in leadership at our church and we have a big old target on our backs. God is victorious and is a worker of miracles. I have to believe it and stand on his word and looking to Him and not the adoption all the time!

In Him

Denise in MI

jaz said...

Becky,
I LOVE the Mitford series!! ...and have read them all. I was just last night reminding myself of Father Tim, and praying that very prayer. :0) With our 1st adoption, we were chosen by a Birth Mother 3 days after our Home Study was completed, and she was due to deliver two weeks later. On the other hand, we've been waiting 9 months, 6 days, and trying not to count since Micah's referral... We joke that God must have made it so smooth the 1st time so that we wouldn't be afraid to jump in the 2nd time. Please know that I continue to pray for you and your perfect referral.
Love,
Jamie Z. :0)

DeniseinSC said...

I LOVE father tim!!!! You're so right...the prayer that NEVER fails! Love ,Denise

Scott and Katy said...

Boy did I need this post today! I too am praying for you!
Love,
Katy