Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Adoption News:
Being the ultra patient person that I am (ha ha), I emailed Rachel at AOH to ask her about how things were going with the finalization. On February 6th, they were estimating that 15 children would be finalized in the Liberian courts within two weeks, but I hadn't heard of any being done. She said that because of all of the "excitement" over the last few weeks and the possibility of adoptions being shut down by the Embassy, the judge overseeing our cases decided to wait and see what would happen.

The Liberian staff is guessing that at least half of those cases will be done by Friday, Monday, or Tuesday. Unfortunately, there is no way to know if we will be in the first half, because the judge doesn't seem to be concerned with working chronologically. I do know that we are one of the 15 though, and I hope that by early next week, JJ will be officially our son according to the Liberian courts.

These would be the next steps after finalization:
1. Get JJ's passport

2. Schedule a birth family interview at the Embassy. During this interview, the living relatives of the child go to the Embassy to be interviewed by the consular. During that interview, she decides if she believes that these people are truly the birth family. She also makes sure they understand the concept and permanency of adoption. Sometimes she requires a DNA test to prove that they are related to the child. This adds 6-8 weeks to the process and longer if the DNA results are negative. Other times, she is fully convinced that they are the birthfamily, and the interview is successful. In some cases, these birthfamily interviews have not been successful. It is a really scary last step of the process.

(One family this week had an unsuccessful interview. If I understand it correctly, the birth mother is dead and nobody knows where the birthfather is. They were told that if they can't locate the father, the adoption is off. They have been waiting over a year, and Julie has already been to Liberia to meet their little boy, Teddy. It is devastating news. Please pray for the Redman family.)

3. If our interview is successful, than Pat will fly to Liberia and have an appointment at the Embassy to get JJ's visa and then bring him home. : )

My new hope is to have him home before the end of April. We'll see : ) I don't mind having him home sooner, though, Lord. : )

Baby News:

This has been a rough week for me. It is the 13th week of my pregnancy and that is one of my scary anniversaries. My first two pregnancies with Karissa and Amy were perfect and free of complications. As we tried for our third child, we had four pregnancy losses in a row. The first loss was at five months, the second was an early miscarriage at 6 weeks, and the last two losses happened at 13 weeks. Other than the early miscarriage, the other three had no warning or explanation. Everything seemed great until we tried to find a heartbeat. That is why every heartbeat that we are able to hear is such a blessing to me. There is no sweeter sound. : )

For the last three weeks, I have thought that I've been able to feel the baby move. I've doubted myself because all of the pregnancy literature says that you shouldn't be able to feel the baby move before 14 weeks. But I knew that this feeling was unique to pregnancy, and it was a comfort to me even if it wasn't the actual baby moving.

Then over this last week, I haven't been able to feel that movement any more. It added to my stress and fear. Yesterday morning, though, I had a great prayer time and as I said, "Amen," I could feel the baby again. It was such a gift.

Later yesterday afternoon, the Doppler that Pat bought me for my birthday arrived, and the whole family gathered around to hear Baby's heartbeat. Pat tried to find it in the same location that the doctor has been finding it for me, but all we could hear was my heartbeat. I started getting nervous. Karissa kept asking, "Why can't we hear it?" I think she was nervous, too. Finally, Pat said, "Where did you feel the baby moving?" I pointed to the spot, he put the Doppler on it, and there it was, 170 beats per minute!

It was such a gift to me to have confirmation that the movement I was feeling really was the baby. A huge weight fell off my shoulders and of course I teared up. Pat said that if it was going to make me cry, he was sending it back. : )

I am so thankful to have this now. I don't want to listen too often, but whenever the fear roles in, it will be so nice to have the reassurance.

It is the 13th week and we still have a heartbeat!!!! Praise God!


Lisa said...

I'm crying tears of joy as I read your post. I am sure the fear is tangible and am so thankful your wonderful husband bought the doppler for your peace of mind.

Jamie said...

Praying that you are one of those families and that you hear something SOON. The waiting is so hard!

How awesome to already feel movements! I really should invest in a doppler...I'm sure it really helps when those fears creep in. I have an appointment tomorrow (I'm 9.5 weeks) and I'm trying to not be nervous.

Michelle said...

Praying for you on both accounts:-)

Anonymous said...

Oh Becky, I'm so glad that you've come this far. I never said how sorry I was about the other miscarriages but I had you in my thoughts constantly.
I wish you all the best for the beebee, JJ and the girls (and lets not forget Pat.)
Be well

Scott and Katy said...

Becky, this is going to be a long comment!

Praying for you dear friend. I totally understand your fears and anxieties and I'm praying specifically for those. I've had three miscarriages since our daughter was born.

What I really want to share with you though is our Miracle.
Midge is such a miracle... a couple times over. I was told I was infertile and found out at 8 weeks that I was pregnant after a week of feeling very stomach flu-ish. Then at 10 weeks I miscarried Midge's ectopic twin that I was unaware of.

While in the ER being prepped for surgery to remove the baby in my tube, and being told that Midge would most likely miscarry within the next few days as she was pulling away from the uterus and as the surgery may cause "spontaneous abortion", I went to the bathroom, got down on my knees and begged the Lord to sustain my baby's life and if not, sustain my joy and my heart.
I am telling you, Becky, I have clearly heard the Lord's voice, seemingly audible, 3 times in my life. One of them was on that ER bathroom floor (yuck, I know). He told me that He would see it through.

I left the bathroom, went back and laid on my hospital bed with my crying husband (they had told me that my life was at risk due to my second baby in the tube) and told him with all confidence that the Lord would see it through. 10 minutes later, my surgery was called off and a new radiologist and OBGYN team came in to tell me that my baby (actually they said, "fetus and fetal matter") had passed naturally leaving no need for surgery. Shortly after, a nurse came into apologize for the mis information. The radiologist had told her to tell me that Midge was NOT pulling away from the uterus and that the placenta was already visible! What a turn around!!

The Lord saw it through. Midge survived a premature birth, a hole in her heart, and very underdeveloped lungs. Only God can do that!!! Her name, Mikaiah, means "Who is like Yahweh?".

All that to tell you, dear Becky, that I am begging the Lord, on your behalf, to sustain that sweet life within your womb. I am also asking Him to "see it through"

Now, I am sorry for the very long post... feel free to delete it after reading!!!!


Anonymous said...

Becky--what great on-line friends you have! You are in God's hands. Love, Mom

Hilty Sprouts! said...

Praying, praying and praying! Also rejoicing with you for little monster truck's heartbeat!

p.s., You have given me courage to admit my own american idol obsession on my blog! ;)


Anonymous said...

Your husband is the best -- where can I find one like him!!??

Mrs. MK said...

I love Pat's comment!! "If it's gonna make you cry, I'm sending it back"! Said with all tenderness of course! I can hear my own Dear Hubby saying the same type of thing!

Glad you are still well, and that baby beat is strong and steady!