Today we learned that Benedict Aquai will not be our son. His birthmother returned to the orphanage and said that she could no longer go through with the adoption. She took him with her and removed him from the program.
I'm a wreck right now. I shouldn't have believed he was our son until he was on the airplane headed home, but I took one look at his picture and fell in love. I don't know what to think or feel, other than raw pain.
I know that God will carry me through this loss just like the others. As we've gone through losing our babies, God has given us theme songs. The first one was Tree63's "Blessed Be Your Name" and the then it was "Praise You in This Storm" by Casting Crowns. Today, my song is "Jesus Bring the Rain" by MercyMe.
I'm broken. I'm hurt, and I feel lost, but Jesus, I will praise You still!
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
I Will Praise You Still
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27 comments:
OH,I'm so sorry. Our family will be holding you up in prayer. Praying that God's arms will wrap strongly around you....Love,Denise
Oh my dear one, I don't know your pain but God does. Even in this He is still in charge. I am praying for your grieving heart and for His strength to hold you up.
Lisa
So sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine what you are going through right now. We will lift your family up in prayer. May God surround you with his love and comfort you.
There is a book that I would recommend to you if you haven't already read it, it is "I Will Hold You In Heaven". It is a book to help you deal with a loss of a child through miscarriage or still birth. Even though you didn't carry little Benjamin in your womb, you still carried him in your heart.
In Christ,
Melissa Arnold
I'm so sorry! We almost lost our 3rd child through adoption. The night I was told I was torn apart. I'm praying that those around you IRL will understand the loss (many don't). The Lord bless you and keep you
Christine
Avella family,
My heart is heavy for your family today. We will be praying for your family....I have been praying for you from the start of your referral. During this time of losing Darius I can feel the love of God's arms around our family...May you feel it too.
julie
Becky,
We will be praying for the Lord to comfort your hearts as you grieve.
With love,
Amber G.
Oh Becky, I'm so sorry! I'm sure you're heart broken. I'm praying for God's peace and comfort, along with loads of His Mercy to wash over you. Sending you love and hugs:)
Laurie
God please be Becky's refuge and strength and ever present help in times of trouble. Give her the peace that passes all understanding. We are praying for you and your family
Oh Becky, I am so sorry. I will be lifting you up to the God of all comfort!
Becky,
I am crying and praying with you.
Love,
Jamie Z.
(((Becky)))
I'm so sorry!! Please know that many many are praying for you, and that God would be ever closer trough this painful valley of loss.
I am so sorry for this loss. I cannot imagine what this is like for you and your family. We will be praying for you. Tanya
Becky-
I know exactly what you are going through...I am so so sorry. You can call me anytime tonight before I leave. I will email my number.
Love,Charity
BECky,
OH my! I can relate to the pain, the total raw pain. The heartache. I am soooo very sorry for this loss. Please feel free to call me anytime. We will hold you up in prayer!!! We will pray, pray for God's comfort, His peace, His words of Life to fill your aching- grieving heart and soul. I am soo sorry...
I am learning a whole new level of trust..of complete surrender to our GOOD FATHER,..despite everything. May God draw near to you today!
clinging to Jesus,
Katie B.
Becky, I am so sorry. My heart breaks with you. May God strength you as He gently wraps His loving arms around you. Praying for you and your family.
Blessings, Jenny
Oh Becky, I am so sorry for the loss of your son. Praying for you and your husband as you process your grief and heartache. May God give you supreme comfort during this trial!
Blessings, Faith
I am so sorry. We are praying for peace and comfort for you and your family.
Traci
Praying for you Becky...God is glorified when we choose to trust Him in the storm....thanks for your godly example. Praying for Him to bind up the wounds of your broken heart and to make His way known regarding the future.Weeping may endure for a night but joy will come in the morning and I look forward to rejoicing with you then!!
Blessings, Kathi
Avella Family, I'm praying for your family as you go through this terrible loss of a son. I know he was in your heart...soul and mind...
Please continue to trust the Lord and know that you have families all around the world praying for you and your family.
much love,
Robin
campbellshope@blogspot.com
I am so sorry to read this news. Please know that I'm praying for you all during this time of grief.
I am so sorry to hear this news. I do not know your pain, I can only imagine. May the Lord give you his peace and comfort.
Tina
Oh Becky, I'm sorry that you are experiencing another loss. Please be comforted by Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
At times life throws us curve balls one right after another. I know you don't understand why these things are happening. But I'm sure God has a special assignment for your family!
Michele
Becky,
I am so sorry for your loss. We are praying for your family and lifting up little Benjamin and his BM as well. May the peace that passes all understanding comfort you today and as you grieve.
Love,
Katy
I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for your testimony. God is faithful. I'm praying for your strength and comfort.
Alice
Becky, God put you on my heart today as I went to Bible Study and missed seeing your sweet face... I didn't know why but now I do. I am so very sorry and we will be praying for you and your family. I was given a journal by a dear friend of ours and this was written in it. I hope it ministers to you like it has to me...Jade
God will never leave you empty. If something is taken away, He will replace it with something better. If He denies your request in a certain area, it is because He wishes to give you what is best. If He asks you to put something down, it is so you can pick up something greater.
Roy Lessin
I am so so so sorry. I know nothing I can send can mend your breaking heart, but the Lord is faithful and will pull you through. I am so sorry :(
God bless you and yours,
Jen
My heart aches for you and your family. You will be in my prayers. Keep trusting in God to grow your family in His will, and that He will have His hand on little Benjamin in his life.
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