With the news of this pregnancy, I have been longing for JJ to be home more than ever. I am thrilled about both babies joining our family, but I feel like I need some time with JJ before the new baby comes. Time to bond and for him to have my full attention before he has to share it.
I have had a few adoptive moms who have recently returned from Liberia tell me that they saw JJ while they were there and recognized him because he is so adorable and striking. I must say I agree and these comments (Katy and Amber....THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart) have warmed my heart and made me ache to have him home soon.
It is vague when his homecoming will be. I feel pessimistic about the timing without a miraculous intervention. But I believe wholeheartedly in miraculous interventions. I will wait on the Lord to see what He has planned.
I started my injections for the pregnancy yesterday. They aren't bad at all. It is so comforting to be doing something this time instead of just trying again. Ultimately, though, I know that everything is in His hands.
I am relying on scripture a lot to deal with anxiety. Psalm 139 is a good one:
1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.
5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.
19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!
20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,
and abhor those who rise up against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.