Thursday, February 28, 2008

No Direction Yet

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make Your paths straight. - Proverbs 3:5-6

We got more news today about what happened with JJ's family. I guess his birth father was still in favor of the adoption, but the father's older sister was not. She had been in Ghana for medical care and had just returned. When she heard about the adoption, she wanted JJ withdrawn and will be raising him herself. The father didn't feel like he could disobey his older sister. Respecting elders is a cultural norm in Liberia.

I have had a lot of people ask what we plan to do next. The answer to that question is honestly I don't know.

Pat asked me this morning if I had received any insight yet. I told him that when I close my eyes I have a vision of a dead end with a huge wall in front of me. It's like the end of a very narrow hallway and there are no doors on either side. I'm just standing there looking up the big wall, completely void of any spiritual discernment or direction of what God's will is for us. Maybe it is just too soon to make a decision.

We have been given a lot of advice that I respect and appreciate. There seems to be four different opinions that others have asked us to consider.

1. Sometimes, we try to force something to happen when God has shut a door and said, "No." Maybe we are trying to do something that God isn't really asking us to do or blessing the effort.

2. Please keep pushing on. Stay with the process. Sometimes God asks us to do things and in the process we face many obstacles that we just need to press through in order to be obedient.

3. Take a break from it all. Concentrate on your new baby coming and after he/she is born you can revisit the idea of adoption.

4. Consider another program/country/domestic adoption plan that is less risky and more consistent.

We have listened to the heart of our friends and family and appreciate all of the food for thought. I truly am considering all of the above thoughts and seeking God in prayer. Now we just wait for the answer.

I wish that I could remove the emotion of impatience from the decision making process. I'm afraid that I am going to want to make a rash/hasty decision just because I am so desperate to get to the end of this journey. I'm tired of trying to grow our family, and I just want to be a family.

I also don't want to be like Sarah in the Old Testament. God had promised to bless her with a child and she took matters into her own hands and messed everything up. Our world is still dearly paying for her impatience. I want to wait and be patient for the child God has chosen to join our family. Help me, Lord, to slow down and follow instead of trying to run ahead.

On Monday mornings, I lead a Women's Bible Study at church. We have been studying the book of Colossians lately and Monday's study was on where to go for wisdom. I didn't know on Monday how much the study was going to apply to my life this week. : )

One of the questions that the study we are using asked was, "Why would God allow us to come to the end of our understanding?" The answer that I wrote on my study was that running out of our own understanding sends us to Him, and He is our greatest need! Running out of our own understanding removes the delusion of self-sufficiency. Self-sufficiency is a dangerous and a deceptive place to be.

My purpose is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.
- Colossians 2:2-3

Oh the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgements and His ways past finding out.
- Romans 11:33

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. - James 1:5


The Adoption Of William said...

Praying for you guys! I am so sorry this happened to you....twice. I hope the Lord reveals his plan to you guys soon!

With Love,


Anonymous said...

Hmm...well honestly that's the best reason I've ever heard of a child being withdrawn from the orphanage. It seems there is not a need to worry about JJ, just miss him...

I wish there was a way for waiting parents (for referral or kids coming home) to just relax and be a family until God brings the children into your life. But it seems it just gets too emotional...I don't know...

I will continue to keep you in my prayers. None of your options will be "easy"...


Anonymous said...

Hi Becky!
Just wanted to let you know I am thinking about you and praying for you.

Mrs. MK said...

Hi, Becky!

We are still praying for you! Decisions are very hard to make when you're still grieving, so give yourself a chance to breathe, to rest, to pray. Nothing needs to be decided today, I'm sure. Meanwhile, peace for your heart from our dear Father who cares for the sparrows!

Mrs. MK said...

Thank you Becky.

You have been so deeply in my thoughts and prayers, knowing that you have been through this and then so much more. I am thankful for your example even through such seemingly superficial means as blogs and internet.

Remember God's continual faithfulness this coming week----it stretches before us like an eternity.