Thursday, January 17, 2008

All Is Well With Baby But Mommy's Got the Blues

We had our ultrasound today and all is well with Little Peanut. (a.k.a Cutie Pie and Monster Truck) Thank you, Lord!

We love our OB and want him to be our doctor, but walking into his office feels like walking to the guillotine. There are just so many painful memories in that place for me. It was a HUGE relief to walk out happy.

The baby measured 8 1/2 weeks.....a little farther than I thought we were. That was a good feeling. I found out that I was pregnant so early, it feels like I've been pregnant FOREVER already, and I can't wait until I can legitimately just give in and wear maternity clothes instead of trying to squeeze into the last two pairs of pants that fit. How can the baby only be the size of a grape, but all my clothes are already too small? I guess the 30 lbs I've gained from adoption stress doesn't help the situation. : )

When Karissa got off the school bus today, she came running up to me and said, "Hi,, Mommy! Is our baby still alive?" I laughed, teared up, and reassured her that our baby was still alive. We all are longing for this baby very much. We'll just have to take it one appointment at a time. Our next one is January 30th.

I'm a little blue tonight. I built this appointment up so much, and now I don't know what to do with myself now that it is over. I guess I just need to go to bed and get some sleep.

I've been stalling going to bed because there is a writing contest sponsored by Proverbs 31 Ministries that I so wanted to enter. The deadline is tomorrow morning, and I'm not going to make it. I'm just so drained from the emotions of today and got hit with a terrible case of writer's block. I prayed a lot about the opportunity because I do have a desire to write, but I kept trying to force the writing out without inspiration. I think watching this opportunity pass me by has added to the blues. I need to continue to trust God with my dreams and wait for His perfect timing.

Goodnight!

6 comments:

Daiquiri said...

Oh, my dear friend! I'm sorry you have the blues. And I'm sorry that you're going to miss the P31 writing thing. I know you were excited about that. But you know...you have just a few little things on your plate! Don't beat yourself up.

God gave you that book to write. He helped you get it done. He'll get it published too. Remember, Him, not you right?

We prayed for you tonight. You were missed (and your cookies were yummy). Talk to you tomorrow. Get some good rest, mama ;)

Love,
Daiq

Missy said...

Cut yourself some slack friend. You are 8 1/2 weeks pregnant. You are supposed to be blue. Go shopping and buy a cute little trendy maternity outfit the kid they didn't have when I was preganant) and flaunt the fact that you're pregnant.

I'm not trying to diminish your reasons for feeling down, I'm just a fixer and I'm trying to fix it. I know that clothes and words from a crazy friend aren't going to make you feel better, just keep leaning on Jesus and He will ease your fears, your pain in remembering and your doubts and questions about the future. Praying for you and I'm so happy that monster truck is growing strong. I'm convinced it's a boy.

Much love to you,
Missy

Lisa said...

Becky,
I am thankful you got that first visit under your belt. Maybe now you are breathing a little easier, allowing yourself to believe this little one you WILL hold in your arms. I am praying for you and your precious Cutie Pie or Monster Truck. Praying God's holding both of you in the palm of His hand and praying for you to feel refreshed and encouraged.
Also praying for your book! How exciting!
Hugs,
Lisa

Jennifer said...

I'm so glad all is well! I think I remember Dr. W. sees patients in Meridian once a week. Maybe it would be easier to have him see you there instead the other clinic? Just a thought.
Love, Jen

Brandi said...

Can I just come by a few times a day to stare at that cute little face? He's just so stinkin' cute! I think he has sparkly eyes and a radiant smile. . a lot like Davis. People comment to me almost every time I'm out on his smile and eyes!

Brandi

Jamie said...

I really want to correspond with you! We're in the same boat, somewhat with our pregnancies (I haven't really announced mine yet though). Could you email me? zjmleko@cableone.net
Jamie from all the Yahoo groups!